Friday, May 23, 2008

Reality Comes to Ottawa

Speaking of Revolutionary New Dating Paradigms, the other day someone told me about “like, the totally raddest reality show ever” –- Rock of Love. (seen on something called “VH1”) In this brilliant social experiment, washed-up rockers like Brett Michaels, who have a hard time finding a meaningful relationship, search for love by:

Inviting twenty handpicked beautiful women to move into his rock and roll palace in the Hollywood Hills to compete for his heart. They must win over his mind and his body by proving their love for Bret, their passion for rock and their potential to be the perfect "Rock Star Girlfriend." During the course of the show, “women” need to prove they can:

- Attend red carpet events
- Live on a tour bus with roadies
- Compete with younger, hotter groupies
- Be cool around celebrities
- Get “down and dirty” with him
- Always look smokin’ hot.

As I was looking this up, I came across something even more unbelievable. As you know, Canada likes to pick up American reality show successes and make them their own (e.g.: Canadian Idol, Eh? So You Think You Can Dance Canada, Eh? The Next/First Great Prime Minister). Our version of Rock of Love, apparently is going to be something called Hill of Love.

As far as I can figure out it’s going to be on CBC and feature a series of has-been/never-been MPs who are trying to find their soul-mates by inviting groups of 20 beautiful Canadian political science students to Parliament Hill for a month.

In the first season, Ottawa-Orleans MP, Royal Galipeau, will ask women to prove they’d be well-suited to be the Deputy Speaker’s "Hill-Babe" in the fast-paced world of Canadian politics. Competitors will need to show they can:

- Sit with him in the House and nudge him awake as required
- Travel back and forth from Orleans to Parliament Hill several times a year
- Compete mano-a-mano with David McGinty next time he picks a fight
- Be cool when accidently, on-purpose brushing up against Stephen Harper in the hallway
- Get down on their knees regularly and pray with him to rid Canada of all the perverts and baby-killers
- Always look like a proper, god-fearin’ woman in public and act like a randy she-bitch in the bedroom.


A Happy Downtowner said...

OMG this is brilliant! Have you noticed he looks a bit like Norris on Corrie? lol

I never liked reality shows, to me, they're boring, not to mention degrading, well mostly the ones on searching for love, trying to lose that 100 lbs of fat or attempting to get to work for the Donald, amongst other topics. I find the voyeurism it encourages a bit unsettling.

zoom said...

I look forward to some pretty audacious auditions.

Newsguy Bob said...

Royal Galipeau? Puh-LEEZ. He's my MP and frankly, he and his staff are useless as boobs on a board.
He's an arrogant, pompous ass.

JB said...

'Royal Galipeau' sounds like a really cheap white wine, doncha think?. "The Royal Galipeau? It's over there in the same aisle with the Cat's Pee On A Mulberry Bush and the Avon products, ma'am."

...and "fast-paced world of Canadian politics". Thanks, that was funny.

XUP said...

HD - Reality is highly over-rated, in my opinion, but Hill of Love ought to be a smash hit. And, yes, I thought Royal looked familiar.

Zoom - I'll go, if you go.

Bob - My point exactly

JB - I think I picked him mainly because of his name. Is Cat's Pee on a Mulberry Bush a local vintage?

Josie said...

Where do I sign up?

JB said...

Actually, there's a Cat's Pee On A Gooseberry Bush, and I'm a little embarrassed to even know that. Adding Mulberry to the name was a wink toward anyone who'd heard of the actual Sauvignon Blanc, listed 2nd down the page, here:

alison said...

In a stunning plot twist that no one will see coming, Brett Michaels will eschew the sea of bleached hair and silicone on his own show, and audition to be one of Royal's House of Babes. Seriously. 'Must see TV' at its best.

meanie said...

i have to admit i watched the last few episodes of rock of love, and from there culled the best line i have ever heard. brett michaels discussing a stripper love-match potential with him: "i need to know how to get her off the pole and on to mine".
if Hill can bring lines like this to the table, count me in!

XUP said...

Josie - for which show?

JB- You're a true wine afficionado

Alison - and with hundreds of MPs this show could run longer than Beachcombers

Meanie - snarf.. "off the pole and onto mine"... you can't write good TV like this -- go reality!!